If I understood Twitter, I would have “tweeted” the following this week Dumb Shit, week of 5/20/2013:
I believe that I have the biggest zit of my life on my face right now. It looks like I am growing a third nipple on my chin.
I just realized that the Benadryl I’ve been taking for the past few months expired in 2004.
I really need to catch up on some sleeping in.
Sourwood Sweet Rocks
This fantastic band from Greensboro, NC (where I went to college) played at a wedding reception I attended last weekend. They played a show down there to benefit one of the band member’s wife who was diagnosed with a brain tumor recently.
I was instantly attracted to the singer Faye who also played the violin. Talk about a girl crush! She is tall and lean and beautiful, can sing and play multiple instruments! The band is great, the other singer is the husband of the brain tumored wife. He was great too. I feel for them. The months after the initial diagnosis are terrifying and difficult.
I’m glad they came out and played and that I got to dance to their foot-stompin’ party all night roots rock music!
Just When You Think You Know Someone
Dear Insurance,
I know I was blowing you up when I first heard from the COBRA people. I’m sorry about that. But I was freaking out, I needed my seizure meds like woah and I was going out of town that weekend. I thought we were cool, you and I. But when you guys didn’t respond to my emergency update report (or whatever it’s called) I was hurt and kind of embarrassed, I thought I meant more to you than that, you seemed to like me when I was living in Chicago.
When I went to Walgreens, expecting to pick up my prescription it still wasn’t covered! And when Kristi called you, you guys were on the phone for like, a really long time. I’m sure she knows a lot more about insurance and prescriptions than me, but why did you talk to her for so long and not me? When you guys got off the phone it was all sorted out. I was happy about that, but I kinda felt dissed. I hope you can work with me now and that next time I can get my meds without you flirting with Kristi for like an hour on the phone!
Oh, and that MRI from February that I keep getting billed for, I talked to Shawn and he was like, “It looks like we’ve received your certificate of creditable coverage, which excuses the pre-existing condition clause (or whatever it’s called) but you still owe $395.blah blah blah (fucking $400.00).” When Shawn said that I was like, “Whaaaaaaaa?” I guess that’s better than four grand no doubt. But in Chicago I never paid a thing for my MRIs.
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a bitch or anything. But this is serious stuff, man. Why is it always a struggle with you? When I was in Chicago, I don’t remember it being this hard. I am fending for myself down here unprotected, except maybe for Kristi and Shawn. But, I don’t even know them that well and it’s kinda awkward now because I cried when I talked to them last.
Okay, okay. I guess I’m finished. TTYL (hopefully, I won’t have to TTYL, because by then you’ll have your shit together!)
Peace
-Skittle
Bill Murray on Gilda Radner:
“Gilda got married and went away. None of us saw her anymore. There was one good thing: Laraine had a party one night, a great party at her house. And I ended up being the disk jockey. She just had forty-fives, and not that many, so you really had to work the music end of it. There was a collection of like the funniest people in the world at this party. Somehow Sam Kinison sticks in my brain. The whole Monty Python group was there, most of us from the show, a lot of other funny people, and Gilda. Gilda showed up and she’d already had cancer and gone into remission and then had it again, I guess. Anyway she was slim. We hadn’t seen her in a long time. And she started doing, “I’ve got to go,” and she was just going to leave, and I was like, “Going to leave?” It felt like she was going to really leave forever.
So we started carrying her around, in a way that we could only do with her. We carried her up and down the stairs, around the house, repeatedly, for a long time, until I was exhausted. Then Danny did it for a while. Then I did it again. We just kept carrying her; we did it in teams. We kept carrying her around, but like upside down, every which way—over your shoulder and under your arm, carrying her like luggage. And that went on for more than an hour—maybe an hour and a half—just carrying her around and saying, “She’s leaving! This could be it! Now come on, this could be the last time we see her. Gilda’s leaving, and remember that she was very sick—hello?”
We worked all aspects of it, but it started with just, “She’s leaving, I don’t know if you’ve said good-bye to her.” And we said good-bye to the same people ten, twenty times, you know.
And because these people were really funny, every person we’d drag her up to would just do like five minutes on her, with Gilda upside down in this sort of tortured position, which she absolutely loved. She was laughing so hard we could have lost her right then and there.
It was just one of the best parties I’ve ever been to in my life. I’ll always remember it. It was the last time I saw her.”- from Live from New York: an Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live
What’s worse Cancer or Health Insurance?
I have recently been hit pretty hard by Lady Luck. I had hours taken away at work, without warning, and am now back to fighting the evil, giant COBRA beast. I also may not be going to graduate school right away. Forgive my absence from this site for a while, I’m out searching for silver linings, yoga classes, a life coach and a sugar daddy.
picture: January, 2011 my real hair and New Year’s Eve party favors
I think I’m dating one of my neuro residents.
Most signs point to yes. We have shared many intimate moments. During a neurological exam doctors poke you with a stick in places on both the left and right side of your body and ask you if it feels the same on both sides. He stood right in front of me and our eyes locked. He stuck me on both cheeks with a small wooden stick and gently caressed my ear lobes and I remember melting inside. I fantasized about him kicking the door closed and frenching me. He also came to visit me in the hospital before my surgery.Where he met my parents!
So, he’s already caressed my ear lobes, which felt the same on both sides, and he’s met my parents! This means that we are dating, at least in my book. I went to the clinic where he is a resident, and a different resident did my exam which was nowhere near as intimate as my exam with him. They are trying to keep us apart. But nothing will come between our love, of this I am certain. I used this stock photo to represent our relationship. No one will come between what we have! When we first met, I was waiting to be examined and many people walked past me, he was the only one that stopped and asked if I was being helped. This is when he poked me lovingly with the wooden stick and we started dating.
Old post from April, 2011.
Don’t Be A Dick
Being a frequenter of pharmacies and doctors offices I have learned a lot about proper medical setting behavior. Also being a health center employee has shaped my perceptions of how to behave as a patient. It’s very simple, folks: Don’t be a Dick. Doctors, nurses, pharmacy staff and especially medical administrators (i.e. people at the front desk) have difficult jobs that require a lot of concentration and certain tedious business every now and again. You must learn to be nice to them. They will remember it if you are nice, especially if you have a weird last name like I do.
Treating medical facility staff with respect goes a long way. One dick move, and they are less likely to go out of their way to help you out when you need it. Be polite, smile, don’t be a dick, wait patiently, it will be remembered and will pay off at future visits. I am a regular at the Walgreens by my house and I have a medication that requires some work on their part to get a manufacturer’s coupon to work. I always thank them and wait patiently while they work it out. And guess what, when they see me coming they grab my prescription right out of the bin and have it waiting for me for effortless pick up.
They work hard to get me my prescriptions with savings and I appreciate their efforts immensely because I am new at having insurance and cancer. I need their help. Oh, and do not fuck with administrative staff. Dick moves will have you waiting longer than you would normally. Smiles and respect get you seen quicker and future appointments scheduled faster. They answer your really annoying questions without huffing and rolling their eyes at you (which is better than my behavior at my job - hypocritical, I know, but I try. Sometimes.)
Being nice and friendly gets you remembered so that when you call, the staff (including doctors and nurses) they instantly know your case and are less likely to ask around about your stupid brain tumor. I suppose it helps being a strange case and having an uncommon last name. Just remember, Don’t be a Dick. You’re a patient, have patience.
Old post from September, 2011.
Particularly from 2011.
I’m re-posting some of my favorite old posts. Why? I have recently introduced this blog to new people. I urge any new readers to check out the Archive of this blog to way back in early 2011. Posts from March, April, and May are entries that I find funny and am proud of from post-surgery and treatment when things were really interesting. I thank any new readers for checking out this silly website.
Old Post from 2011
What the fuck is up with Kale?
I like kale, I think it’s great. I do not like not having enough energy to prepare it in a delicious way. I would like to make a hat out of kale and absorb the nutrients through my head. I would like someone to tokyo drift over to my house and cook up some kale for me.
