Ew. The Super Bowl. Gross.
My dad, Mike, likes football and I know that he will watch the super bowl. Last year, we “watched” it together. We clicked back and forth between the big game and Sense and Sensibility (starring my favorite person of all time, Kate Winslet). While going back and forth we shared sighs of disgust at Willoughby’s treatment of Marrianne and cheers regarding some kind of football play. It fascinated me that Mike and I had our attention evenly split between the super bowl and Jane Austen. We reacted more strongly (and audibly) to Sense and Sensibility than we did to the football game.
Honestly, the only reason I wanted to watch the game last year is because I think Ray Lewis is a sexy beast. And Willoughby too. Yikes.
Friday Night. No Plans.
There are few steps in life that once you get to them you realize that they are going to become things that you WILL DO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. One such thing is driving. At 16, you get that license. You will now drive for the rest of your life, maybe not all the time, and it of course depends on where you live and what you do with your time. But it is something that you will do from that moment on. Sex, after that first time, it is something that you will continue to do. When you start for the first time off on your own, you will work and pay bills always. No more living off of somebody else (most of us, maybe). And post-cancer stuff is no exception.
I’ve been thinking about my head and hair this evening. My hair will always be kept short. I will never be able to grow it and have MY OWN long hair. No more ponytails (made of my real hair). No more hairstyles (of my hair). It’s wigs and scarves and hats and headbands from now on.
It’s not a vanity thing, but a practical thing. My current short hair cut, when left to its own devices may be manageable with lots of effort, but no more bad hair days that I can throw my hair up into a ponytail or bun. It can be covered, that’s it. When met with minimal effort my short hair cut, at best, appears unkempt and reveals bald spots/scars that I am not ashamed of. Professionally, however, it is not a permanent option. I cannot simply brush it and move on.
Maybe I will find myself in a position where flyaway thin hair does not matter, but from where I am right now in my life I cannot go to a job interview wearing ONLY my real hair.
Again, it’s also not just vanity or the age-old bullshit about how much pressure is put on women’s appearance. I understand that in my current line of work as a low-level medical assistant for a large non-profit health organization that I should not be at work with crazy hair. It makes me look unprofessional and unkempt. It reflects poorly on my office. Furthermore, as a frequent patient, if my nurse or PA had wiggity wack hair it would stand out to me as odd and unsettling.
I am an over-thinker. And that’s okay. I love the scar bumps on my head. And I have always hated my hair, so nothing lost and nothing gained… except the freedom to wear wigs and scarves and hats and headbands whenever and why ever.
New Year’s Eve.
Not a wonderful picture but I am wearing the wig and some dude’s sunglasses.
Feelin’ Keen, 2014!
Stayin’ Clean, 2014
Punch you in the Spleen, 2014
Charlie Sheen, 2014
My favorite color is green, 2014 and so on and so on.
You get it.
New Year’s Eve 2013.
Getting ready for the evening. This is me before donning my wig. I may not even wear it, feelin’ pretty good about the look in my natural hair.
However it turns out, have a fun and safe night!! Happy New Year!!
New wig and Cupcake Dress (end of the year post).
Shit. I suck. I have been busy and lazy.
And wanting to post a pic of my new wig since I got it in October.
I got a real cancer-people Raquel Welch wig. For those in the know, that means a real day-to-day, synthetic, no joke, real-time, grown-up-people wig. I have been waiting to get a pretty picture of me in makeup for the blog, but I’ve been selfishly caught up in other shit.
This photo is of me in a cute dress (consignment store) at a theatre people event, not the greatest of the wig, but hey, I try.
MRIs have still been good (awesome)! I stil don’t believe it when they tell me. I feel like an undeserving shit when my docs tell me the good news. I don’t believe it. I am waiting for the bad news each time I go up to see Dr. S. But, praise Baby Jesus and Mother Nature that my awesome hole is still empty.
Live from the set of my new show:
‘Samantha Has No Future and No Boyfriend’
Our first guest will be Lexapro!
(filming a video about epilepsy for my Neurologist)
First “hairstyle” in two years.
Haircut. First blow dryer use……hair products……resist wanting to hide under a scarf……bang obsession. In two years.
Cafe du Monde, New Orleans!
July Was Crazy Busy
Throughout July I worked on a “devised theatre” piece called Exquisite Corpse. It takes its title from a surrealist parlour game (google it). It was a collaboration with 10 other fabulous theatre people and produced by Richmond’s TheatreLab (theatrelabrva.com). We had only a few weeks to “devise” the thing within our director’s flexible score and to add the technical elements which included a balloon drop and 10+ pounds of gummi bears. We had to rehearse EVERY NIGHT from 7:00 to 11:00. I was exhausted. Some days I had to nap in between day job and rehearsal.
Also during this time I was starting to train for a second job at a restaurant AND started to see a new boy.*
I was busy and I wish I had posted more during the month.
So, in summation, July was wonderfully (only looking back now) busy and very hot.
My one year anniversary of being back in Richmond was August 4th. I spent it in New Orleans visiting one of my best friends, Hilary. Oh yeah, I was in New Orleans too.
*Who dumped me by disappearing. Why do boys do that shit? Say it to my face. I can take it.