2014 So far.
There isn’t much going on as you can see that I have barely written anything on here lately. That’s good. If my brain tumor came back there would be plenty of material.
So here it is. All this year I have had clear MRIs (thats two total at this point). (!!!!!!)
A few days ago I had a REALLY good day. The first one in a long time. It was totally unexpected, as I have been rather blue these last few months. So, I don’t know if you guys have been following the weather here in the Mid-Atlantic USA, but the usually mild Richmond, Virginia weather has been fucking crazy these last few months. It has been a terrible tease (like opposite me in high school) with days of sunny warmth, followed by snow storms that keep kids out of school and commencing the snow-induced collective Community Freak Out.
SO, BACK TO A FEW DAYS AGO, It was my day off and I was planning on taking the bus downtown later that afternoon. Public transportation is way lame in this city, especially after my love affair with the buses in Chicago.* With no help from the GRTC (Greater Richmond Transit C-something) I had confusion about the bus stop I was planning on walking to. I live just beyond the Richmond City line so the walk was an hour roundtrip. It was warm outside because it was going to rain later that evening. My little walk was a delight! I made some awesome discoveries that are so inane I will leave them out of this post.
This is a picture I took of myself (a selfie as the kids say) my first spring in Chicago. I was also happily walking around my new neighborhood in my new city and also making silly little celebrations as I went. Which is life; hopefully, a string of little celebrations every day.
*Did you know that my first year moving back Chicago Public Trans (CTA) featured heavily in most of my dreams and still continues to do so, namely the Damen bus #50.
Ew. The Super Bowl. Gross.
My dad, Mike, likes football and I know that he will watch the super bowl. Last year, we “watched” it together. We clicked back and forth between the big game and Sense and Sensibility (starring my favorite person of all time, Kate Winslet). While going back and forth we shared sighs of disgust at Willoughby’s treatment of Marrianne and cheers regarding some kind of football play. It fascinated me that Mike and I had our attention evenly split between the super bowl and Jane Austen. We reacted more strongly (and audibly) to Sense and Sensibility than we did to the football game.
Honestly, the only reason I wanted to watch the game last year is because I think Ray Lewis is a sexy beast. And Willoughby too. Yikes.
Friday Night. No Plans.
There are few steps in life that once you get to them you realize that they are going to become things that you WILL DO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. One such thing is driving. At 16, you get that license. You will now drive for the rest of your life, maybe not all the time, and it of course depends on where you live and what you do with your time. But it is something that you will do from that moment on. Sex, after that first time, it is something that you will continue to do. When you start for the first time off on your own, you will work and pay bills always. No more living off of somebody else (most of us, maybe). And post-cancer stuff is no exception.
I’ve been thinking about my head and hair this evening. My hair will always be kept short. I will never be able to grow it and have MY OWN long hair. No more ponytails (made of my real hair). No more hairstyles (of my hair). It’s wigs and scarves and hats and headbands from now on.
It’s not a vanity thing, but a practical thing. My current short hair cut, when left to its own devices may be manageable with lots of effort, but no more bad hair days that I can throw my hair up into a ponytail or bun. It can be covered, that’s it. When met with minimal effort my short hair cut, at best, appears unkempt and reveals bald spots/scars that I am not ashamed of. Professionally, however, it is not a permanent option. I cannot simply brush it and move on.
Maybe I will find myself in a position where flyaway thin hair does not matter, but from where I am right now in my life I cannot go to a job interview wearing ONLY my real hair.
Again, it’s also not just vanity or the age-old bullshit about how much pressure is put on women’s appearance. I understand that in my current line of work as a low-level medical assistant for a large non-profit health organization that I should not be at work with crazy hair. It makes me look unprofessional and unkempt. It reflects poorly on my office. Furthermore, as a frequent patient, if my nurse or PA had wiggity wack hair it would stand out to me as odd and unsettling.
I am an over-thinker. And that’s okay. I love the scar bumps on my head. And I have always hated my hair, so nothing lost and nothing gained… except the freedom to wear wigs and scarves and hats and headbands whenever and why ever.
New Year’s Eve.
Not a wonderful picture but I am wearing the wig and some dude’s sunglasses.
Feelin’ Keen, 2014!
Stayin’ Clean, 2014
Punch you in the Spleen, 2014
Charlie Sheen, 2014
My favorite color is green, 2014 and so on and so on.
You get it.
New Year’s Eve 2013.
Getting ready for the evening. This is me before donning my wig. I may not even wear it, feelin’ pretty good about the look in my natural hair.
However it turns out, have a fun and safe night!! Happy New Year!!
New wig and Cupcake Dress (end of the year post).
Shit. I suck. I have been busy and lazy.
And wanting to post a pic of my new wig since I got it in October.
I got a real cancer-people Raquel Welch wig. For those in the know, that means a real day-to-day, synthetic, no joke, real-time, grown-up-people wig. I have been waiting to get a pretty picture of me in makeup for the blog, but I’ve been selfishly caught up in other shit.
This photo is of me in a cute dress (consignment store) at a theatre people event, not the greatest of the wig, but hey, I try.
MRIs have still been good (awesome)! I stil don’t believe it when they tell me. I feel like an undeserving shit when my docs tell me the good news. I don’t believe it. I am waiting for the bad news each time I go up to see Dr. S. But, praise Baby Jesus and Mother Nature that my awesome hole is still empty.
Live from the set of my new show:
‘Samantha Has No Future and No Boyfriend’
Our first guest will be Lexapro!
(filming a video about epilepsy for my Neurologist)
First “hairstyle” in two years.
Haircut. First blow dryer use……hair products……resist wanting to hide under a scarf……bang obsession. In two years.
Cafe du Monde, New Orleans!